Big Green Meany
by Spoot Poot
Summary: Piccolo...as a baby sitter? One-Shot, short and fluffy!


Spoot: I'm not writing a PiccoloXPoPo fic!

Goku: It'll be cute! Piccolo shoots him with an energy ball!

Spoot: It's called foreplay!

Big Green Meany

"It'll only be for an hour, he's easy to deal with, honest!" Goku said. He was face to face with Piccolo. He was huffing and puffing with rage. "We just need a few hours of adult time! PLEASE!" Piccolo looked over at Gohan. A chubby little thing. He was cute for an earth child. "Fine...for one hour." He growled. "THANKS!" Chi Chi snapped, almost throwing her son at the green man. The two began to walk off, leaving Piccolo to the baby. "Just don't forget to feed him!" Goku shouted over his shoulder, then the two were gone. He looked down at the baby he was holding by one leg. Gohan giggled. "What am I supposed to do with you now?" He grumbled.

Piccolo walked into the house, tossing the baby into his play pen. He could handle it, he was, after all, and sayan. Gohan began to cry though. Piccolo stopped dead in his tracks, with a little screech of his heels. "Stop making that god awful noise!" He shouted, into the little ones face. Gohan stopped with a light gasp. It was quiet for the moment, Piccolo thinking the nightmare was over. But alas the baby began to cry once again. Piccolo covered his ears and hollered. "I swear, I should have killed that man when I had the chance!" He picked the baby up by his tail, and looked him right in the eye. Gohan screamed for a moment, then stopped, becoming interested in something. He reached his little hands out, and grabbed a hold of the antenna on The poor mans head. Piccolo cringed, and tried to pull the baby off his head.

"Ok, how do I do this? How does your mother do this?" He asked, looking over at the baby in the high chair. He looked down at the mush in the little container. It was yellow, and smelled of a very stinky substance. He sniffed it, and gagged. He spotted the little boy reaching out for the spoon on his tray. He grabbed it up and waved it around. Piccolo snatched it from him, making him cry. "Shut up you brat! I'm getting to it." He said, dipping the little spoon into the goop, he pulled it out, and offered it to Gohan, who backed away with a whine. "Eat...eat it...now!" He shoved the spoon in the boy's mouth. Gohan made a face, then spit it out in the Namekian's face. Piccolo wiped at his poot features with a growl. He glared at Gohan, making him giggle.

"Ok, that's it...nap time!" He snapped. Gohan had been making an assortment of noises for the past 15 minutes, and Piccolo had reached his limit. He snatched the boy up from his play pen and walked him to his room. "I don't know what you want..." He said, when he noticed the baby try to say something. "Frankly, I don't care!" He dropped Gohan in his bed, enlisting a cry from the little one. Piccolo was almost home free, when his nose caught a whiff of something...foul. He turned slowly, his eyes wide. "Please no..." He whined, walking over, slowly. Sure enough, Gohan made the face, and a sound came from his rump, sounding like he had sat on a duck.

"How do I...where...what is this?" Piccolo had Gohan on the changing table, he was looking through a diaper bag. He pulled out a cloth diaper, and looked over at the little one. "Ok...now what? I just undo this?" He pulled the pin from the diaper, and it fell off the babies behind, to reveal a mess. Piccolo was a strong, Namekian worrier...He gagged, and turned his head away. "I'm not dealing with that!" He shouted. Gohan began to cry. "OK! SHUT UP!" He snapped approaching the disaster. "How do I do th-" He was cut off when a string of wee went right in his mouth. Gohan giggled as he pee pee'd right in Piccolo's face.

He opened his eyes, he was sure he told himself to shut them for just a moment, but here it was 30 minutes later. He looked around the room, then remembered he was baby sitting! He shot off the sofa and rushed to Gohan's room. His mouth dropped open and he gasped. The baby...was gone...

He dashed around the house in a fit, looking in every nook and cranny, hopping to see a tail, or hear a giggle. He even when as far as to go outside. He rushed back in the house, and stood in the kitchen. "I know I'm dead...that's it...I'm dead..." He mumbled. He looked around, for...anything. The one place that had slipped his mind was the cupboard. He sat down and opened the doors. Gohan was butt naked, sitting in a pot, eating a jar of peanut butter. He looked over and giggled, then reached out and grabbed his antenna with a gooey hand.

"How did it go?" Chi Chi asked. She was reaching for her child, but he held on tight to Piccolo. The said Green man was a little reluctant to give the child back. Gohan whined, and hugged tighter. "He seems to have taken a liking to you." Goku said, reaching over and taking the baby. Piccolo looked a little saddened. Gohan began to scream and reach for his green friend. Piccolo looked up with wide puppy dog eyes. "Awww...Goku, how sweet..." She looked over at her husband, who let out a sigh, reading her mind.

Chi Chi walked into the living room, and about died laughing. Piccolo was fast asleep with a little, tailed, baby asleep on his chest...with a jar of peanut butter.

Spoot: SQUEEE! Good idea my love!

Goku: Thank you. *bows*

Spoot: Oh gods... *slaps head*


End file.
